A little outfit.
Just over two years ago, give or take a week or so, Drew and I were in South Africa experiencing the most epic honeymoon that we could have (n)ever imagined.
Truly.
I owe you guys a blog post solely about that trip, or maybe several as I could write about it for DAYS and not capture all that it was. :) Huge shout out to our family at Classic Travel Connection and Live Life African Safari Getaways for our amazing adventure!
Ok, back to the topic at hand… our first few days in Africa.
Safari stop #1 was at andBeyond Phinda Mountain Lodge, and boy did it ever set the stage of high expectations… but, like I said, more to come on Africa in a few weeks as I am putting all of those thoughts together, finally.
Our first night was love at first sight - I mean, how could you not fall in love with this sunset and this view? If you know me, you know the answer to that question, I was in love.
We spent 3 nights at our home in the Phinda Game Reserve and of course, like any good tourists, we had to take a stroll through the gift shop at the lodge before it was time for us to depart. So many amazing things to pick from. Collections of locally made jewelry, hand woven baskets, and glassware/serving pieces were scattered throughout the store. We walked through the small gift shop for what felt like hours, but in reality it was probably more like 20 minutes, searching for the perfect items to take home with us. Gifts for family and friends at home. Items for us to always remember our days in Phinda…
And there it was, hanging on a tiny hanger, beside all of the other African clothing and game drive apparel that was available for purchase, the cutest little treasure that we were for sure taking home with us.
But you might be asking, “who was going to wear it?”
On that day in 2022 the only one who knew the answer to that question was our sweet, sweet Savior. Talk of a baby was nothing more than passing conversation, after all we’d just said “I do” and entered into the newest phase of life as husband and wife. We knew that one day we wanted a family, and we’d talked about what that might look like, but on that day, in the gift shop at the Phinda Mountain Lodge, we had no idea how that looked in the future. We knew it was a desire of our hearts, and I knew that it was something that I’d prayed about for years, for the Lord to provide for me a family that I so desperately longed for, but how He would answer that prayer was not something we knew at the time.
But, I remember looking at Drew, outfit in hand, and telling him “we’re buying this outfit for our future baby.” It was so matter of fact, not optional. And in his super sweet, encouraging fashion, he said “absolutely.” He could have looked at me like I was crazy and told me no, but he didn’t… And truthfully it wouldn’t have mattered. :)
I was sold, so confident.
We were bringing that outfit home and there is going to be a baby to wear it one day.
I knew it. Or maybe I was just swooned by the pure cuteness. The why could honestly have gone either way…
But alas, we brought the little outfit home and I couldn’t wait to show it off… “look what we bought for our nugget to wear one day!” Yes, I got weird looks. No, I didn’t care. My heart still felt so confident in that purchase. I was so hopeful. Did I trust that the Lord could answer that prayer and desire my heart, 100%. Did I also know that He didn’t have to answer with a yes, 100%. Did I doubt. You guessed it, also (sadly) 100%.
So, I folded it up, placed in with the other items that I’d also bought for my “child someday”, and only revisited it a few times wen I needed to move the box or something like that.
Fast forward about 6 months and there was an answered prayer. Well, really a LOT of answered prayers… more on that here if you haven’t read that story. A little nugget was on the way…
I had not thought much about the outfit in the midst of the delightful sickness that I was dealing with during those early days of pregnancy… until I did. And then it kinda consumed by thoughts. HAHA!
To find out the gender of Baby Sprayb, we scheduled a little gender reveal photo session with our beloved Allison Naylor, just Drew and me, prior to telling our families. As we were preparing for the shoot I pulled out the box to gather a few little props to use and I came across THE outfit. Up until that moment we had been very chill about a gender preference, the only thing that mattered was a healthy, happy, growing baby… (and truly that is all that matters), but that day I panicked. I walked out of the room and looked at Drew with the most serious look on my face, “what if it’s a boy and Baby Sprayb doesn’t get to wear our beloved outfit from Africa?” I all of a sudden was a nervous wreck OVER an OUTFIT. Thinking back on it, it sounds utterly ridiculous, but I am telling you, I was seriously worried about it. If Baby Sprayb had been a boy, we would have just put it back in the box and either saved it for the possibility of a little girl one day or we would have just fondly remembered Africa when we saw it and passed it along to another little girl…
It would have been FINE.
But my heart just couldn’t shake it, I wanted MY baby to wear THAT outfit that I had bought so confidently in Africa with my HUSBAND!
So, off to take pictures we went… and…
… and there it was. PINK confetti flying through the air.
A little girl was on the way. And she was going to wear THE OUTFIT. Eventually.
Fast forward to last week and my heart about burst right out of my chest. Our angel girl was finally big enough to wear her very own outfit from Africa. Drew was on his way home from church and I was getting Ava ready for Wednesday night church. He walked in and I made him stop in the hallway until I could finish getting her shoes on. For whatever reason this felt like such a big moment. He walked around the corner and the smile on his face seeing her in this little outfit will forever be a core memory for me. It was the sweetest moment thinking about our time together and how she gets to be a part of it, even now.
I mean, have you ever seen a cuter little nugget who wants to eat the grass and make silly faces at her daddy?
Yes, it’s just a little outfit with a lion wearing a bow.
Yes, it’s a special souvenir, but really, it’s still just an outfit.
So what is the big deal?
I think it was more about the trust in my Jesus than about the outfit, but that outfit was a physical representation to me of a day when I felt Him touch my heart with encouragement. Did I believe in that moment that just because I bought that outfit that His answer HAD to be yes and that there WOULD be a baby to wear it? No. I know better… I know that just because I have a desire in my heart and that I prayed fervently does not mean that His answer is always going to be yes…
But, what I do know is that He speaks to us in ways that we don’t always expect and that He is always ABLE…
Even if there had not been a baby to wear that outfit, looking at it would always bring the sweetest of memories with Drew to my mind. And THOSE too are answers to prayers… memories with my husband that I was not sure I would ever have.
So, while I am most thankful for the angel baby that got to wear that little outfit, I am even more thankful for the lessons that the Lord has spoken to my heart because of it. Another moment of Crazy Faith… He doesn’t have to, but I believe that He is ALWAYS ABLE!
… here’s to memories from Africa and thankfulness to a Father who lovingly prompts us, even in what feels like really odd ways sometimes.