from one january to the next…

Holy cow, I am not sure how it’s been over a year since I launched this little blog into the world. When I started writing on 12/31/20, I never expected to have posted more than once if I’m being completely honest. I really thought that “blogging” would be like “journaling” for me and that it would never last. But, to my surprise, I have posted a few more times than just that once. :) I mean, I consider almost one post a month a big win. HA!

As I have reflected on my first two blogs over the last week and then again this morning, my heart is overwhelmed. Full of joy, while a few tears have streamed down my face.

In 2020 I claimed the words “Immeasurable More” and “Expectant” in an Instagram post from Passion 2020.
At the beginning of 2021 I ended my first blog post with the same words that I started it with. “Immeasurably More” and “Expectant.” Claiming that for my year once again. And while 2020 had moments of showing me the reality of those words, 2021 came in hot, bringing with it some of the greatest “Immeasurably More” moments.

I’m behind in my “year in review” post for 2021 because it’s taken me several days to process all that is floating through my brain when I think about the year; the ups, the downs, and the immeasurably more moments that the year provided. And, since I am so behind, this series of ramblings is covering not only the turn of a new year, but the reflection of how this new year brought with it many new things…

Years come and go so quickly, that sometimes I have to sit and flip through the collection of pictures to even remember what happened that year. Surely I’m not the only one, right? Maybe I am, and that’s ok. I still enjoy looking back over the really good… and not so good, moments of the previous year.

In some ways, 2021 felt like we were reliving 2020 all over again. Covid still existed in very real ways, effecting more of our lives than we care to admit. Friends and family were still distanced and unable to be together as they would like to be, furthermore making that feel like it would be that way forever. Church ebbed and flowed, services still being effected, trips being cancelled, and events happening but in limited capacity or with masks on our faces. It just kept effecting what felt like every area of our lives.

But, in other ways, 2021 brought with it so much of its own special. And much of its own healing.

With 2021 came extra time with my “kiddos” - both those that are family and those that aren’t. Time that I will never take for-granted. Being “the best fake mom ever” will always be one of my most favorite titles.

2021 also brought with it some travel, some extra special celebrations, and a few moments of pain (umm, can we just ignore that whole broken foot situation) and tears.

From Turks & Caicos, to a girls’ trip to Laurel, a few trips up I-65 to Middle Tennessee, and the random beach trip here and there, the travel of 2021 left my heart incredibly full. Most certainly moments of immeasurably more, that is for sure. Every time I pack my suitcase for a travel adventure, I am reminded of the Goodness of God and that each of those moments are gifts, they are not promised or guaranteed, but out of His abundant kindness, He allows me to experience His great world, and often I get to do it with those whom I adore. This is not something that I will ever lose the wonder of.

While travel is so great, and one of my favorite things, one of the highlights of 2021 for me was the time I was able to spend with my HSBC College Students. From Tuesday night Bible study, to Sunday mornings with donuts and color changing cups, bowling, farm days, lake days and early mornings at Waffle House… they are some of my most beloved humans and being able to walk through their college journey with them is one of my greatest honors. I am so thankful for the time that 2021 allowed me to spend with them… truly a gift.

But, amidst all of those really great moments where some moments of pure exhaustion and tears. Moments of questioning my purpose, wondering if there would be answers to so many heart-felt prayers anytime in the near future, pleading for the Lord to free me from a life of chronic pain, and shaking the throne on behalf of so many of those in my life... And that list is short… just naming a few… but let’s be real, there were lots of “up” moments, but the “down” moments had their fair amount of time to live in my head and heart throughout the year, yet I still felt so strongly about being expectant for what the Lord was working on in my life.

He never left my side, reminding me time and time again that He was good and that His plans for my life far outweighed all of the “downs” that I was feeling. And He would graciously remind me that each of those “downs” were replaced with an immeasurably more moment. A moment with a friend that gave me a new pep in my step, an evening with my mom who reminded me of who I am and how loved I am, an adventure with my family that gave my soul the extra dose joy that it needed in that moment, and a little concert date that shouted “immeasurably more”.

Now… fast forward to blog post #2…

On January 12, 2021, I wrote my second blog installment and it was all about that date and what it had meant to me over the last 7 years. The pain that it brought with it for many years was often times unbearable. But it also brought with it great thankfulness for the rescue that the Lord performed that day.

Typically leading up to that day, I would feel all sorts of dread, anxiety, stress, etc. mixed in with that thankfulness. I would always have to work to find the balance of being thankful for what I was freed from, and expectant for what was to come, while still knowing that it was ok to hurt and to feel sad for what was gone, and ultimately what was not yet.

But today.

Today I woke up, without a sense of dread, honestly “what today was” had not even crossed my mind. Had I not picked up my phone and scrolled through my “Memories” on Facebook and Instagram, I am not sure that even as the day went on that I would have thought about what today was. That my friends is a GIFT from the LORD! And just one more thing to write about in the recap of my Immeasurably More moments.

Last year, as I wrote, I talked about how I was trusting the Lord to Redeem It All! Believing that He had a great plan and that He was working it all out. Now, when I wrote all of those words on 1/12/21 I really did not imagine that on 1/12/22 I would be bringing this all full circle to seeing SO MUCH of that redemption come to completion, but, here we are. Right in the middle of His redemption plan, and my heart could EXPLODE! If you would have told me that day, as I was writing, what today would look like, I might would have thought you were crazy, but I would have kept on writing. Writing so that when this day came, I would be able to look back and see that those Hallelujah in the Waiting moments were going to be redeemed. Those ashes, turned to beauty. And that Hallelujah in the Healing would be working itself out, each and every day.

And, although it sounds crazy, I would walk through each step of that journey again to know that it turns out like it does. I had no idea what the Lord was up to, but my goodness, He sure did, and it is so so good!

So friends, be encouraged as you move into this new year. I do not have it all figured out, not even close, but what I can tell you is this, when you are seeking HIS FACE and trusting Him, He is faithful to provide. That physical provision might not always turn out like we had hoped and prayed for, and sometimes His plans might leave us feeling lost in that moment (or many moments in the future), but even in those moments He is faithful, never leaving our side. Those moments throughout the last (now) 8 years were not what I had imagined, far from it if I’m being honest, but they were what I needed at that time. They are what He needed to lead me to this day. The day where I was able to look back and be thankful for what happened on this day, 8 years ago, so that I could experience what TODAY looks like. A day of absolute JOY!

Lean In.
Trust Him.
Believe Him for your immeasurably more, and trust that He will provide that, even when it might not look like what you had imagined. His plans outweigh ours in the biggest of ways. And, if you are like me, even in my disappointments, I want to be in HIS plan, not mine.

Thank you, Father, for a year of reflection and drawing me unto You.
Thank you for your provision and sustaining hand, each and every day.
Without you, I am nothing.

2021, you were a solid year.
2022, I am believing that you have even more Immeasurably More up your sleeve.

I am expectant.