the ending of normal…
disclaimer - please do not read this and hear me being insensitive or unaware of the effects of the last 12 months, that is not my heart beat in the least, this is simply a girl retelling a story and how her heart longs for those days gone by.
Normal.
Gone.
At least for a season.
Oh what I would give to be have a packed suitcase, prepared camera bag, and plans to depart the church with two buses full of middle school students. I might even consider being thrilled about dinner at The Spaghetti Factory (if you know, you know). After all, that is what the first weekend of March has looked like for the last several years, and I adore it. And miss it immensely.
March 6, 2020.
That was the last day a bus would pull out of the HSBC parking lot loaded with kids headed on a mission trip, or really, any trip at all, for well over a year. We hopped on that bus, headed to Nashville, knowing a few things, and not knowing some others…
What we knew:
Nashville had been hit by a devastating tornado just days before, and the Lord had ordained the most precious series of events that would allow us the opportunity to proceed with our trip. To still minister to a hurting community. (read more about that here, here, and here. And, if you’d like to watch a recap, you can see that here.)
The the students had worked HARD and they were prepared, no matter what events might be thrown at them over the next 48-ish hours. (See examples above.)
And that we would share lots of laughs, memes, and jokes about surviving weekends with middle schoolers means you are prepared to survive anything. (I do still believe this is true.)
What we didn’t know:
That this would be the last moment of “normal” for quite a while.
That the “virus” the rest of the world was talking about would soon be on our doorstep, invading our lives in quick fashion.
And that we would desperately miss bunk beds, camp food, and stinky middle schoolers.
When I got on that bus one year ago today, I had no idea what the next 2.5 days would hold, much less what would come in the weeks to follow, but I can tell you that I got on that bus with the anticipation that the Lord had big things planned, and that is exactly what happened.
As I mentioned above, just days prior to our arrival, Nashville was hit by a devastating tornado, leaving miles of destruction in its path and lives in shambles on various streets of the Music City. Not only were homes in piles of rubble, but the lives of those we would come in contact with had been impacted in ways that would be hard to explain.
But, these kids persevered in ways that still touches my heart 365+ days later. They never once complained about the long hours of service they would complete. They weren’t deterred by strangers telling them stories that were hard to hear. And they were not shaken by the changing of plans or redirections in our schedules.
The Nashville Rescue Mission. Second Harvest Food Bank. The Juvenile Detention Center.
When I think back on the last twelve months and I relish in these moments that are so special, I am reminded that even then the Lord was preparing us for what was to come. Teaching us that things change and we have to learn how to roll with the punches, helping us to realize that even when life is tough, He is greater and that He is working.
The students sang the words below, and while they certainly fit for the circumstances of that weekend, they were also words that have replayed in my heart and on my lips over and over again since then. It’s been a storm. And there are ashes, no doubt, but our King is Alive, even in the middle of it.
I'm gonna sing, in the middle of the storm
Louder and louder, you're gonna hear my praises roar
Up from the ashes, hope will arise
Death is defeated, the King is alive!
After HG Tour last year, and the changes that transpired in the weeks and months to come, I really did not expect to be writing this blog today. In my heart, I really still felt that we would be back at it, in Nashville, loving on a city that is near and dear to our hearts.
But He has different plans!
Are things back to normal? No, not yet.
Will life as we once knew it be only a memory? We can’t really fully know at this very moment.
While I would love to answer those questions/thoughts differently, I can’t. I just have to keep singing, and keep reminding myself of those lyrics. He is faithful. He is constant. And not one millisecond of our lives catches him by surprise. Not one.
On the days that we were kicking and screaming, He knew. And He was there with us.
In the moments where we were just downright sad, He was there to calm our anxious hearts.
When we threw up our hands and screamed ‘why’, He was not caught off guard by our questions.
When the praises and thankfulness rolled off of our tongues, He was there, listening to our every word.
March 6, 2020 and March 6, 2021 could not look more different, but our God is the same, and that is the most comforting of realizations for me, and you too, I hope. His love for us endures all of those emotions.
One day, hopefully sooner rather than later, we will be on the road again with a few buses full of students, but for now, HG 2020 group, you taught lessons that you didn’t even know by your resilience and attitude! I am thankful for the memory, and I am thankful for each of you.
So, this year instead of losing an hour in Nashville, we will lose that hour during DNow, and I could NOT be more thrilled about it. Losing that hour is big time minor when I think about how excited we are to be back with our students, doing things as normally as they can be right now.
Until then, we press on, knowing that there is No Turning Back, even on the really icky days.